The Zombie Apocalypse is Already Upon Us

Vulnerability.  There may be no other word that makes modern people cringe more. Somehow, this one word and all that it entails sends us running for the hills, both literally and metaphorically. Is our collective recoil at the idea of being vulnerable a natural state, or is it a flaw of some sort, a defect in our programming?

Or, more to the point,  the flaw IS the natural state of human beings. We are flawed. Its how we deal with the flaws that define our personal evolution.  I am reminded of the movie Cinderella Man,  a true story about a boxer (James Braddock) who was down on his luck. He was off his game, losing fights and wasn’t able to care for his family. Then he broke his right arm and he couldn’t fight at all, and went to work in an ice factory, grabbing hunks of ice with his good left arm and hauling them on to trucks. After a while, he got back in the ring, only to discover that due to his injury and having to use only his left arm, he had become a very strong boxer, much stronger than before as he now had his left hook backing him up, as strong as his right jab ever was. His defect put him in a place where he was able to emerge stronger. He didn’t foresee this- at the time, he was mired in defeat. He was down and he didn’t see any way up and out of it, not knowing that his salvation was being exercised even as he despaired.

So here we are in vulnerability. It keeps us from being able to get into the ring, or if we do get in the ring, it keeps us from being able to be present in a way that would create a fulfilling scenario. What do we do? What most of us do is shrink, hide, run, judge others for our own shortcomings, get angry, blame, become promiscuous instead of connected- and not just romantically- on all levels- we refuse to commit to so much of life that requires commitment. We are rootless. Lacking purpose.  And what don’t we do, for the most part? Show up, take risks, allow ourselves to feel or be exposed, possess a willingness to make mistakes and own them, to care, out loud and in public for all to see…  just to name a few examples.

Brene Brown says her research shows that most people equate vulnerability with weakness. And yet, the truth of the matter is that its actually the very definition of courage. Some things that make us feel vulnerable- saying “I love you” first, asking for a raise, saying no to our kids, saying no period, asking someone on a date, speaking in public….all of these things that make a person feel vulnerable are the most powerful moments in our lives, they are moments that define who we are. These are not moments that call for weakness…these moments call for strength. These call for risks- risking being exposed, rejected, denied, failing, risk of succeeding, risk of losing- “We buy into the myth of vulnerability as being a weakness because by doing so we give ourselves permission not to do it,” says Brene Brown in her conversation with Krista Tippett on the podcast On Being. “Try to remember the last time you did something brave, or saw someone do something brave.” Something is always at risk in any scenario one can consider.

That got me to thinking about heroes. In reality, a hero is someone who risks something big to help someone else. If vulnerability is opening yourself up to life, in all its glory and pain, to the extent that you might just get hurt, or even die- then those we unilaterally consider to be heroes – those who risk their lives to save others- are practicing the penultimate vulnerability. Having said that, any time we show up in our daily lives, stripped down and available to what life brings us, willing to be exposed, to fail, to be wrong, to be right, to win, to be real, to be open to whatever may come instead of avoiding the discomfort- at those times, we are also heroes. Life is either a Hero’s Journey, or its not. I find those people who are asking the hard questions and getting in the ring again and again after being beaten badly are capable of the most intense happiness. Its as if the struggles and the quest for understanding carve a deep reservoir into a person, and the deeper the reservoir, the more capacity for joy there is. In an emotionally promiscuous life, where no commitments are made and vulnerability is avoided, a person can only scratch the surface, at best. There is no capacity for deep and abiding joy, only fleeting distractions and drudgery. And there are plenty of people like that- too many, more and more all the time.



Like I saw on Project Appleseed Rifleman Training‘s podcast last night- the zombie apocalypse is already happening. Just peruse facebook for an hour!  The zombies avoid commitment, vulnerability, pain, growth, depth, true connection. They can’t focus, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. And guess what? They want you to be a zombie, too. Anyone who is fighting the good fight reminds them that their existence is a shallow, half hearted one. And its easier to bring a person down a peg than to bring them up a peg, so we must always be wary of the dreamers who want to lure the wakers back to sleep.

Waking up to your true self is never easy, and it isn’t supposed to be. Like the baby chick fighting to get out of its eggshell- the struggle for the chick is critical for its survival. It was discovered that when someone helped break the chick out, the baby soon died, not having developed the muscle strength it needed by the very act of breaking out of its shell. Vulnerability is the place of courage that builds the muscles of a wholehearted human being. Do it. You might get hurt, you might look dumb, you might get rejected, you could fail- but then again, you might not. That can’t be why you do the thing, or why you don’t do it- you do the act, whatever it is, because it must be done. Life is meant to be lived fully, wide open, out loud, and most of all, unapologetically.